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Mind-Blowing Happiness?

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LAST YEAR'S BLOG POSTS

Screaming for Boundaries:

Are You Afraid of Social Media?


April 17, 2021

I launched Mind-Blowing Happiness LLC (formerly HoneyButterflyz LLC) nearly two years ago. Although I owned a fitness center franchise in the past, this is the first time that I’ve founded my own company based on my personal vision. Over the past year and a half, I have learned so much about the businesses of bookselling, life coaching, public speaking and what it means to have a platform. Having a platform is critical for business owners, influencers, thought leaders and just about anyone who wants to have an impact.


At the beginning of 2020, I realized that my writing is deeply connected to my desire to have a voice and shift the narrative on topics I care about. I want to help others by teaching, inspiring, empowering and motivating. It’s impossible to do those things in isolation.


I grew up in large corporations. I started working full-time when I was seventeen and have worked for some of the most well-known brands in the world including Revlon, American Express, Verizon, Merrill Lynch and JP Morgan. In the corporate model, your platform is as large as your job title. In many ways, social media has democratized the platform.


According to Nielsen, on May 25, 2011, the final episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show had 16.4M viewers.


Cardi B currently has 88M Instagram followers.


Michelle Obama has over 20.5 followers on Twitter.


My favorite 20-year-old TikTok sensation, Mona Swain, has 1.5M followers.


The fascinating YouTube therapist, DoctorRamani, has 566k subscribers.


The ability to instantly speak to hundreds of thousands of supporters without anyone else’s editing, approval or permission is game-changing.


Not everyone will have a huge platform. Not everyone wants one. It requires both desire and dedication.


Last week, I blogged about Imposter Syndrome, the phenomenon of heightened self-doubt that disproportionately affects successful women. This week, I wonder about the relationship between Imposter Syndrome and the fear of social media, also known as visiobibliophobia, characterized by fear you're missing out or fear you're too exposed. Both seem to correlate with feelings of self-doubt. As a woman who was raised to be polite and “not too loud,” I understand why women may want to hide from the busy, loud and often intrusive spaces on social media where we can be both seen and ignored.


These spaces scream for boundaries.


For the record, I am not friends with some of my family members on Facebook. As much as I love to connect with like-minded people, I take my personal boundaries seriously. In other words, I don't have time for anyone's shit.


Social media may push you to create boundaries that you’d rather not define. If you’re inclined to compare your life to other people's, it will bring that to the forefront. If you worry what others think of you, thoughts about who did or didn't "like" your posts might be maddening. If you feel insecure or jealous, photos of other people's weddings, vacations or job promotions might rub you the wrong way. An unhealthy relationship with social media can increase feelings of anxiety and depression.


Social media is an overlay world for our real world. Issues with social interaction that crop up in our day-to-day lives can be magnified. Here are my social media tips and in-real-life (IRL) Happiness Hacks to help you enjoy all the worlds you live in:

  • Post what you want and forget about it. You might want to give some thought to the purpose of your account. Do you want to connect with friends, promote your business or find work-out buddies? It might be all of that and more. Once you know the purpose of your account, enjoy posting and interacting, but don't keep score. (IRL Happiness Hack - Do the best you can and don’t get too attached to outcomes. That’s Step #8 in 12 Steps to Mind-Blowing Happiness: Embrace Surrender.)
  • If a post really bothers you, delete it. If you post something, you can edit it later if it needs to be corrected. You can also delete it completely on a whim. You're in control! (IRL Happiness Hack - If you make a mistake, apologize if necessary, do your best to correct your action and move on.)
  • Unfriend people who troll, bully or harass you, even if they are friends or family members. We teach people how to treat us. Tolerating offensive behavior will only lead to more of the same. Talk it out, give second chances, but if people can't respect your digital space, let them go. Facebook has advanced features now so you don't have to come right out and "unfriend." You can "unfollow" or make your posts invisible to specific people. (IRL Happiness Hack - Pay attention to your group of friends and do occasional house cleaning. Make sure the people in your circle are the ones you really want there.) 
  • Join groups that interest, engage and inspire you and leave groups that don’t. You don't need to have an explanation or a parting monologue before you leave a group. Just exit and move on to the next adventure! (IRL Happiness Hack is exactly the same. Leave the team, job, club, etc. if it doesn’t interest, engage and inspire you. It might be more difficult than just clicking a button, but living an authentic and inspired life is worth the effort.)
  • Use personalized DMs if you really want to talk to people. Most people don’t pay attention to group messaging, posts or spam. If there’s someone you really want to talk to, you’ll need to slide in that DM with a personalized note. (IRL Happiness Hack is the same. If you want to communicate with someone in a meaningful way and build relationships, you will need to speak live over Zoom or in-person.)
  • Don’t take it personally if people don’t respond to you. Whether it’s a post, event invitation, advertisement or DM, it’s not that serious. People are busy and social media algorithms are mysterious. Take note and try different approaches, but don’t internalize a personal assault against you that doesn’t actually exist. (IRL Happiness Hack - Not everyone will like you and you can’t control what other people think of you. Most of the time, people are too busy thinking about themselves to even think about you. So, let that shit go, for real.)
  • Know your privacy features and don’t post secrets. No matter what settings you use, don’t assume your social media posts are ever unshareable. Even if you only have ten friends on Facebook, one of them can take your post and blast it throughout the digital world. If you wouldn’t be comfortable seeing your post on a highway billboard, you probably shouldn’t post it. (IRL Happiness Hack - speak from your heart and be kind as much as possible. That way, if someone shares something you said it’s no cause for concern.)
  • If you don’t find what you want, create it. Most social media is free, and the possibilities are limitless. If you want to create a group for short women who like pink pants, college students who hate Facebook, guitar lovers who live in Harlem, or anything else, go for it! If it doesn’t work, shut it down and move on. (IRL Happiness Hack - Try new things and be creative. If something you try doesn’t work out, you’ll have a lesson to learn and a story to tell.)

Whether you are a social media influencer, a dabbler or hanging on the sidelines, if you want to have a big voice, you need a platform. Oprah found hers in the ‘80s on television. With the advent of technology, you can go far with nothing more than a smartphone and a big idea infused with passion and purpose.

If you've never thought about the things that interest you the most, I hope you take a few moments to do so today. 

  • What are you most excited about? 
  • What would you share if you had the biggest platform in the world?
  • Is visiobibliophobia keeping you from reaching your goals?
  • What else might be getting in your way?

I hope you slay anything standing between you and your dreams.

I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!



Trish


P.S. The photo is a great quote about setting boundaries. If you find yourself struggling to say "no" to the things you don't want and "yes" to the things you do, I encourage you to join me for my Black Vegan Life™ Day Retreat on Sunday, May 30. We will relax, rejuvenate and say "yes" to self-care and reflection.

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Slay Your Thoughts:

Is Imposter Syndrome Real?


April 10, 2021

I just got the J&J vaccine this past week. I spent most of yesterday driving so my daughter could get vaccinated too. Neither one of us is a big fan of vaccines or traditional medicine in general, but it feels good to take a step toward returning to normalcy after a year of pandemic life, even with the angst surrounding vaccinations.


In this past week’s session of my Passion Quest coaching program, my cohort of eight accomplished and talented women had a conversation about Imposter Syndrome. It’s a topic that’s come up repeatedly lately, even in the new corporate coaching program that I embarked upon yesterday with another group of amazing women. As we get ready to return to a new normal, I’d like Imposter Syndrome to fade away into our old abnormal.


If you haven’t heard, Imposter Syndrome (I.S.) is a term used to describe feelings of self-doubt about competency, sometimes combined with a fear of being exposed as a fraud. It was first coined by the clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. People with I.S. may feel like their success is a result of luck or timing instead of talent, effort or qualifications.


The website impostorsyndrome.com says “Everyone loses when bright people play small.” I created my company, Mind-Blowing Happiness LLC, to inspire and empower people to live with passion and purpose to reach their fullest potential. The world loses when we don’t rise to our potential and share our talents. It’s remarkable that the best and brightest among us tend to be most prone to this affliction of self-doubt.


I.S. has more significance for women, and particularly women of color, who are already marginalized and regularly dealing with sexism and racism. We are often questioned more about our education, qualifications and access to affirmative action which may make us feel insecure about our abilities or worthiness to have a seat at the table. For young women, these feelings can be even more prominent. This fear of not being good enough can lead to shame and fear. It can also lead to mental health complications, like anxiety and depression.


I consider myself a solid Type B personality. When I was young my French-speaking mother often called me “blasé”. The way she said it made me feel like it was a bad characteristic. My favorite aunt later explained blasé was a good thing; it meant I wasn’t bothered by things. I’m not sure if blasé is good or bad, but I’m beginning to see how it plays out in my life. I don’t have the propensity toward people-pleasing or perfection that my Type A friends seem to have. While I.S., so far, has passed me by, it’s important for me to understand and support the transformation of my clients.

While I.S. is not recognized as a psychiatric diagnosis, it is a real phenomenon. If it resonates with you, here are some tips to help you kick it to the side and step into ALL of your magic:

  • Awareness is key. Just by reading this blog, you’ve made a move in the right direction. 
  • Start talking. Humans need connection. While talking about insecurities and self-doubt is never easy, we, as humans, thrive on the support of community. Understanding you’re not alone and finding kindred spirits will put you on the path toward overcoming your own self-doubt. You might find this among friends, in a support network, or working with a therapist or life coach.
  • Pull out your journal. Sitting with pen and paper at least once a week to write down your achievements, past successes and positive feedback from others will help you recognize and remember your accomplishments.

I love finding great quotes. They have a way of putting a world of wisdom into a single sentence. Here are two to think about:


“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts,

while the stupid ones are full of confidence.” - Charles Bukowski


“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”

 - Charles Darwin


We’ve all heard that ignorance is bliss. When I was younger, I used to say I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. While I'm sure it's still true, my world was smaller then and, in some ways, more insulated. I encourage you to reach for the stars and slay anything standing in your way, even if it is your own thoughts.



I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential.


Trish


P.S. The photo is a quote from Suzy Kassem. It was shared with me in my coaching training yesterday. Wow. If you are dealing with Imposter Syndrome and want a space to work through your emotions, I’m taking registrations for my next Passion Quest cohort, beginning August 18. Space is limited so secure your seat now with the link below.

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Glimpses of Brilliance:

Does the Law of Attraction Really Work?


April 1, 2021

Oprah’s producer called to book me for Super Soul Sunday! I’m so excited!


Ok, that was my April Fool’s for today. I really hate pranks, and I’m not a big fan of April Fool’s Day, but this particular statement speaks to the power of manifestation. We can only achieve what we are first able to imagine. World-renowned thought leaders like Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale, and esteemed personal development coaches like Jack Canfield, Tony Robbins, Iyanla Vanzant and Lisa Nichols all say the same thing. In my own life, I have found this to be true as well: We are what we believe we are.


Now, this doesn’t mean I can just tell myself I’m a surgeon and it will instantly be so. That is literal to the point of being outlandish. However, I can’t become a surgeon if I can’t imagine applying to and graduating from medical school. I have to believe it’s a possibility. I have to be able to visualize myself as a surgeon.


In my interview yesterday with Gloria Pope of Black Girl Everything, I talked about creativity. Every piece of furniture in your home, every app on your phone and every container in your kitchen was first conceived as an idea. Creativity is a divine gift each of us possesses. However, we are sometimes deterred from our natural creativity. At our jobs, we are often hired to complete or analyze tasks. We may be told nobody wants our creativity or opinions. We must only deal with facts or an established process. 


In reality, we are all creators. We conjure our own worlds into existence.


When you choose what to eat, where to live, whom to partner with, what career to pursue and what god to worship you create your world. When you decide how to nurture yourself, what you say “yes” to and what to walk away from, you are a creator. Through each decision you make and each time you choose not to decide, you create your life.


Of course, we all have the circumstances of our birth and our upbringing. We all start with a slate that isn’t clean, but rather painted with the brushes of our environment and our ancestors. However, at some point, we take our lives into our own hands. Much like in my favorite children’s book, Harold and the Purple Crayon, we realize we are actively coloring our own lives.


As part of my Passion Quest 6-Week Coaching Series, I watched the movie, The Secret, for the second time. I walked away reminded of a few insights I want to share:


Thoughts become things. – Whether negative or positive our thoughts often become actions. Stressful thoughts may manifest as diseases in our physical bodies that we may not even be aware of. Most often, thoughts are the precursor to our decisions and become the things and people that are present in our lives.


You are attracting whatever is going on in your mind. - Learning to meditate is a great way to learn to control your thoughts. When we focus attention on what we do not want, we put negative energy into the Universe. Instead of thinking, “I don’t want to be homeless.” Think, “I want to live in a beautiful home.” Just saying the word, “homeless” has power even if you precede it with the word “don’t.”


When you have inspired thought you have to trust and act on it. – If you can’t act immediately, at minimum, write it down so you don’t forget. Sara Blakely, the creator of Spanx, says we all have million-dollar ideas. I believe she’s 100% correct. The thing is, most of us don’t act on our ideas. We second-guess ourselves even when we have glimpsed our own brilliance.


I encourage you to be mindful. Don't miss your brilliance. Pay attention to small things. Improve yourself. Create the world of your dreams. The Law of Attraction states that the order of the Universe is determined through the magnetic power of your thoughts. I've found it to be a powerful truth. 


And, by the way, Oprah’s producer didn’t call me, but Jack Canfield’s did. I’ll be airing my interview with him this month. Stay tuned!



I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!



Trish


P.S. The photo is a little graphic I made up imagining that one day I will be on Super Soul Sunday. Because why not? If you're looking for ways to break free from old habits and step into a bold future you've created for yourself consider my coaching services. Find out more at the link below.

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Permission to Suck:

Is Anxiety All in Your Head?


March 24, 2021

Last week I met up with one of my old clients who works as a physician. As we were chatting, she suggested I blog about anxiety. After the past twelve months, it seems the whole world is on edge. While I’m grateful anxiety is not a constant in my life, I do have times when I feel anxious. For me, it’s a very chemical feeling. It feels like my body has overproduced adrenaline or some other hormone and I can feel it in my system. The best way for me to resolve the feeling is to either work out or go to sleep. Typically, either activity solves my problem. Thankfully, my personality type isn’t prone to anxiety. I often tell people I am a solid Type B. When I feel like I have too many tasks and not enough time, I do a good job prioritizing my activities and coming to terms with items on my to-do list that may not get done right away. I realize my Type A friends don’t have it quite so easy. Type A personalities are marked by ambition, competitiveness and rigidity, while us Type B's are less competitive and a bit more fluid. If you’re not sure where you fit in, take the 2-minute test at this link: https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/AB.php


Whether you are A or B or somewhere in between, what happens when anxiety doesn’t wash away so easily?


According to the Department of Health and Human Services, there are five major types of anxiety disorders. Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is characterized by chronic anxiety, exaggerated worry and tension, even when there is little or nothing to provoke it. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) manifests as unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or repetitive behaviors (compulsions). Panic disorder is characterized by unexpected and repeated episodes of intense fear accompanied by physical symptoms that may include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, or abdominal distress. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened. Social Anxiety Disorder is marked by overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations.


According to the Mayo Clinic, there are many risk factors for anxiety disorders including childhood trauma and stress due to illness, work, financial worries or other issues. People with depression or other mental health disorders are often prone to anxiety disorder, and anxiety disorders can run in families. Drug or alcohol abuse or withdrawal can also cause or worsen anxiety. Because our mental and physical health are deeply connected, having an anxiety disorder can also lead to, or worsen, other mental and physical conditions, like depression, substance abuse, insomnia, digestive issues, headaches and chronic pain, social isolation, problems functioning at school or work, poor quality of life and suicide.


In other words, anxiety needs to be taken seriously. Most of us have had periods of anxiety. How do we prevent a run-of-the-mill anxious moment from turning into a full-blown disorder? Here are my recommendations:

  • Take self-care seriously. Have a personal self-care regimen, and reach out to a professional if you experience symptoms that are unmanageable. You can access my self-care gifts to you at https://mindblowinghappiness.com/resources There you can find guided meditations, restorative yoga and yoga nidra practices for you to explore. You might also consider other ways to relax like reading, journaling, soaking in the tub or watching a movie.
  • Stay active. Participate in activities that you enjoy that make you feel good about yourself. Whether you’re walking, running, skating, hiking or mowing the lawn, working up a sweat a few days a week helps keep anxiety at bay.
  • Build Relationships. Enjoy social interaction and caring relationships to lessen your worries. Having a reliable community of support can make a big difference in your ability to manage stress and anxiety. You might find this through family, friends, your spiritual community or other social and volunteer groups. 
  • Pay attention to what you consume. The same indulgences used to make you feel better in the short term can cause or worsen anxiety in the long term. Whether you choose alcohol, cigarettes, refined sugar or any other substance that alters mood, quitting can make you even more anxious. Try a self-help book, find a support group or see your doctor if you need help curbing habits or addictions. I really enjoyed The Naked Mind by Annie Grace when I wanted to cut back on alcohol. The movie, Fed Up, is a good resource if you want to reduce your consumption of sugar. No matter what, pay attention to good nutrition. A diet rich in whole fruits, vegetables, beans, legumes, grains, nuts and seeds is ideal. Limit processed foods as much as possible. (You’ll know it’s processed if it comes in a package.)
  • Don't take yourself too seriously. Even with the world on your shoulders, you are not responsible for the world. If a task is delayed, life goes on.

Some anxiety is par for the course with our busy, over-worked culture. While it's rooted in the mind, anxiety can affect all parts of the body and overall health. Taking time to understand the source of your anxiety and manage your behavior can make all the difference in the world. Be kind to your whole self: body, mind and spirit to keep stress and anxiety at bay.


I will you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!


Trish


P.S. The photo is a quote from the writer, John Green. Giving yourself permission to not be great at everything is a great stress releaser. It allows you to move forward in the world with the wild abandon of children. Simply falling down and getting back up to try the next thing. Stumbling your way forward. Check out the link below for more resources to reduce stress and anxiety.  

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Grandma's Kitchen:

Can the Right Food Reduce Stress?


March 19, 2021

I just started my Passion Quest 6-Week Group Coaching Series this past Wednesday. As part of the program, we are following a whole-food, plant-based meal plan with no added salt, oil or sugar. We are also avoiding common allergens like soy, wheat and peanuts. I started eating this way after attending a wellness retreat last month in Florida. It made me feel so good, I wanted to share what I learned with other women.


I had an interesting conversation with a member last night. We both found that the diet was having a positive psychological impact on us. It reminds me of when I first went vegan. I no longer had the uncomfortable feeling of cognitive dissonance when I hugged my dog, saved a bug and ate a chicken.


This feels remarkably similar. I just sat down for a delicious plate of brown rice cooked with spinach, kale and chickpea salad, lentil and mung beans, raw shredded sweet potatoes, broccoli sprouts and red kraut. It was delicious, beautiful and completely healthy for my body. It put my mind at ease. I didn’t count the calories or worry about protein. I didn’t think about consuming too much oil, sugar, soy, gluten or anything else. I didn’t analyze unfamiliar ingredients. And, I didn’t worry about eating too much.


A diet that seems so restrictive has been absolutely freeing.


There are over 20,000 edible plant species in the world.


Most people have about 10-20 go-to meals.


Changing your diet doesn’t require you to change 20,000 foods, just the 10-20 meals that you eat on a regular basis.


I am a proponent of joy and pleasure in everything I do. I tell my Passion Quest participants that they must LOVE their meals. If you don’t love it, don’t eat it. Food is meant to be pleasurable and satisfying. If you need a dash of salt or oil, it’s okay, just use the best quality, nutrient-dense salt and oil and be aware of how heat impacts the oils you use. Anything you add mindfully in your kitchen will be less than what you would use if you weren’t paying attention.


Isn’t it something?


We don’t even know how to eat anymore.


We’ve been presented with so many packaged products, we’ve forgotten what real food looks like. I’m eating how my grandmother probably ate growing up. Cooking sweet potatoes, rice and lentils. Making salads. Boiling greens. Brewing teas. Pressing juices. Blending sauces and syrups. Making lemonade. Incredibly simple and delicious.


People often say a plant-based diet is too expensive. It can be if you spend a lot of money on processed vegan meats, cheeses and prepared foods. However, a simple vegan diet can save you tons of money, bring your health into alignment and improve your emotional relationship with yourself.


In my workshops, I teach people how to develop a greater sense of self-love. One of my techniques is to have students list the characteristics they'd like to develop in themselves. Maybe you want to be more outgoing, well-read or a better speaker. Maybe you want to learn a new skill like plant-based cooking, roller-skating, riding a motorcycle or painting murals.


Whatever it is, you have to move from wanting to doing.


It’s the doing that makes you look in the mirror and say, “Damn, I’m a baaaad mothafucka!” Even if you don’t always get it right, there’s pride in showing up and putting in the work. The work will always change you for the better. So even if you never master painting the mural or skating backward, you will walk away with lessons rooted in your attempt to do something new.


You will learn to master your life.


Today is the four-year anniversary of my first and only marathon. I wasn’t the fastest, but I showed up.


Today, I encourage you to show up for yourself.


Dream a beautiful future.


Follow your passions.


Live with purpose.


Try new things.


Because, yes, the right food can reduce stress both psychological and physical. Good nutrition improves heart health; reduces cancer and diabetes risk; improves mood, gut health and memory; encourages healthy weight, strong bones and teeth and helps with sleep. My favorite resource for nutritional information and great recipes is the Physician’s Committee for Responsible Medicine. (pcrm.org)


Whatever you do, make sure you’re having fun. Make this life the juiciest journey yet!


I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!



Trish


P.S. The photo is today’s lunch. If you want to join my 6-Week Passion Quest Coaching Series and learn more about eating well and following your dreams, it’s not too late! Click the link below.

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The Blueprint:

Can Journaling Be Harmful?


March 12, 2021

When I was a little girl, I used to keep a pretty diary with a lock and key that my mom bought for me. It was a place where I wrote what was going on in third-grade romantic relationships: who liked who and who was playing “show and tell” in the classroom closet with a boy. I also wrote my feelings about teachers and family. 


When I was in high school, I kept a notebook full of my teenage explorations with marijuana, sex and skipping class to explore Manhattan’s East Village. My parents found it and kept it for weeks, maybe even months. They didn’t know which entries were my dreams or my reality. We never had a conversation. I thought it was a brutal betrayal of my right to have my own thoughts, fantasies and dreams. 


By the time I was eighteen, I was pushed into a marriage. By then, I was smart enough to protect my personal thoughts while I worked through them. I did secretarial work at the time and kept an unlocked diary in short-hand that drove my then-husband into a rage. Ten years later, my second husband wanted me to destroy my old high school diary that had been sitting dusty in a storage bin for years. I complied. I wasn’t attached to it. It was just taking up space. By then, I had a new journal that I wrote in a few times a year. I don’t know when that last journal disappeared. I wouldn’t be surprised if an ex-lover decided to make it his own. I’m always fascinated by men’s desire to know and judge what goes on inside my head. The funny thing is, I’m such an open and honest person, you could just ask me if you want to know something. And, for the record, I’ve never cheated in a relationship although I've had a number of jealous partners.


It wasn’t until Christmas of 2015 when a good friend gifted me the Live in Wonder journal by Eric Saperston that I experienced the power of journaling prompts. Prior to that, I just wrote about events and emotions. The questions in that journal were about things I had never thought about before, and slowly it helped me learn more about myself and how I wanted to live. A couple of years later, I attended a juice fasting retreat and started my first gratitude journal. Each day I wrote at least three things I was thankful for and three things I wanted to manifest in my life. During my yoga teacher training in 2018, my yoga journal became my constant companion. It helped me process all the new realizations and emotional shifts that were part of my journey as a new yoga teacher. When I completed my coaching certification in 2019, I started a dream journal. I learned that dreams weren’t meaningless creations of the sleeping mind. They offered plenty of wisdom and could even be a portal to Divine intelligence. 


Damn, my journaling got DEEP! 


It's made my life rich with wisdom, passion and purpose.


My life got so juicy!


I’ve had profound realizations that may not have happened any other way. It’s also incredibly economical. You could buy Thinking Outside the Chrysalis, 12 Steps to Mind-Blowing Happiness, Live in Wonder and a blank journal for less than a single session with a therapist or life coach.


Journaling is an incredible investment in yourself. Here are a few life-changing benefits and one important warning:

  • Journaling forces you to focus on one thought at a time. Multiple stimuli often vie for attention: the TV, iPhone, grocery list or to-do list may be constantly swirling around in your head. Journaling forces you to slow down and process one item fully before moving to the next. This allows time for profound realizations about your feelings and the actions you need to take going forward.
  • Writing your journal by hand helps your brain process events and emotions better. You may have heard when you were in school that taking notes by hand helps you understand and remember information better. This is the same concept. If possible, you should keep a hand-written journal. That way, when you have an aha! moment, you are more likely to remember it and incorporate the new wisdom into your life.
  • Journaling allows you to recognize and celebrate your progress. Journaling can help you become more self-aware, tap into your inner wisdom and make more conscious decisions. It also records your progress. Sometimes when you change for the better, you can’t remember your old self. You might even kick yourself because you’re not where you want to be yet. Journaling helps you recognize how far you’ve come.
  • Journaling with guided prompts can help you avoid pitfalls. Like any tool, if used improperly, journaling can be harmful. If your journal is a place for anger and isolation instead of reflection and solutions, you can create an echo chamber of one. Guided prompts can keep you on track. If you don’t have prompts available, use these to get started: First, write down the present situation or future goals that are on your mind. Then, write what resources you are using to work on the situation or goal. (Are you using books, blogs, podcasts, films, personal connections or anything else to move forward?) If you haven’t started yet, identify resources that you can use. If you have started, jot down the progress you’ve made so far. What have you learned about yourself? How do you feel emotionally and physically when you address these topics? What and who are you thankful for today?

The path of inner wisdom and heightened awareness that journaling offers can lead to a life of passion and purpose beyond your wildest dreams. 


You can’t build a house without a blueprint. 


Journaling is the blueprint to your dream life. 


It’s only harmful when you don’t protect your privacy or you misuse this powerful tool to grow resentment and isolation. I've given you the tools here to keep you out of that trap. So tonight when you crawl into bed, before you turn off the light, take a few minutes to write in a journal and unlock the potential of your best life ever.


I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!



Trish


P.S. The photo is an Oprah Winfrey quote that immediately made me think of my journaling journey. If you’re looking to move toward your purpose and passion in life, I still have space in my Passion Quest Group Coaching Series. We'll take deep breaths together; work on our vision for the future; eat a clean plant-based diet; and of course, we will journal. We start on March 17. Find out more and sign up with the link below.

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LAST YEAR'S BLOG POSTS

Finding Freedom:

Are Men Broken?


March 4, 2021

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I, like many people, have fallen in love with TikTok videos. They are mostly for laughs, but sometimes they have thoughtful content as well. I saw one recently with a Black male therapist telling women that Black men are NOT okay. And another with @tara.raani2 talking about patriarchy and why it’s not necessary to live with men. As she put it, we could live with out best girlfriends and have sex with men on the side for fun. I’ve been suggesting “Golden Girls” living with my friends for years. Or communal living. Or just something different. Both of these struck a chord with me, because I’ve been divorced twice and single for a long time lately. Definitely longer than I ever thought I would be. However, as I work in personal development and mental health, I find men are noticeably absent. Even in physical health spaces, their presence is remarkably low. The third Tuesday in September is National Take a Loved One to the Doctor Day, renamed from Take Your Man to the Doctor Day. (I cannot find the evidence of this, but I am working from memory.) As the man in TikTok said, “Black men are NOT okay.” It seems other races are doing a little better, but there's still plenty of work to do to move forward.


As a cisgender, hetero, Black female this leaves me with a few options. Of course, I can open my dating prospects to men of all races. I can also consider what I’ve talked to my friends about for many years - alternative living arrangements. I enjoy living alone, but I think when I get older I may want more companionship. This is where I bring in the Golden Girls model. If you’ve never seen the show, The Golden Girls was a popular sitcom from 1985-1992 where four women over 65 lived together as friends and continued to date men. It always looked like fun to me.


Tara from TikTok made an important point: marriage was designed to support the patriarchy. It really wasn’t designed for women. Oppressed women were convinced that marriage benefited them financially because they weren’t allowed to earn or manage their own money. However, they were free to raise their children full-time, often while managing an emotionally unavailable, demeaning or violent partner. They weren’t actually free to leave the marriage and were socially ostracized if they somehow managed to. Historically, they were often married so young they went from being children to being wives.


When I used to volunteer with a microfinance charity, I learned that microfinance loans were usually targeted at women, not men. Women were seen as more responsible and inclined to take care of family and community. While men were often viewed as more selfish and inclined to abandon both their children and their community in pursuit of gambling, alcohol and sex.


Let me be clear. I love men. Honestly, I love people. I find all kinds of people absolutely fascinating, and I can see straight through to your humanity, even when you can’t. With that said, there is a clear separation between the socialization of men and women that’s unhealthy on both sides. Men should be able to be thoughtful, emotional and sensitive. Women should be able to follow any career path and lead any group. While women have been fighting for our rights to be equals over the course of decades, it seems to me that men have not been fighting for their rights to be emotional equals.


So, what can we do as women or emotionally evolved men? Here are my ideas:

  1. Share this blog with a man and have a conversation.
  2. Encourage a man you love to get in touch with his feelings through any modality: books, coaching, therapy, yoga, meditation, etc. Create a 30-day challenge. (You know men love challenges! Lol!)
  3. If you’re a parent, stop telling little boys to “man up” or stop crying. Let your sons have emotions.
  4. Create or join a men’s group that discusses feelings, philosophies and ideas. (Yes, I think the guys really need a safe space for this.)
  5. Buy copies of Thinking Outside the Chrysalis and 12 Steps to Mind-Blowing Happiness and share with men in your life. 
  6. Invite men to my free monthly workshops. This month we’re talking about reframing anger for a more joyful life. It’s a powerful message. Find out more here: https://mindblowinghappiness.com/events

I often talk about my dream of a self-actualized world. A world where everyone can reach their fullest potential. This isn’t possible if any of us are cut off at the knees based on societal norms. So, to the question, "Are men broken?" We're all a little broken. Let’s help each other heal and find our freedom so we can all benefit from a sweeter society.



I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!



Trish


P.S. The photo is a quote from one of my favorite male leaders. This idea of freedom comes from alignment with thoughts, words and actions. I hope you have the opportunity to cultivate this in your own life. I'm launching Passion Quest, my first coaching series on March 17. Click the link below to find out more. I hope you will join me.

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Reframing Anger:

Does Forgiveness Make Sense?


February 24, 2021

I had a conversation with a friend this past week about forgiveness. I told her it’s not a word that I use often. To me, it implies that you are excusing the abuse or betrayal of another person. I was surprised to find that Mirriam-Webster defines the word forgive as, “to cease to feel resentment against (an offender).” Dictionary.com offers a definition closer to my own,  which includes absolution. They define the word absolve as, "to free from guilt, blame or their consequences." This is where the waters get muddy. You can forgive someone so you don’t harbor anger or resentment without absolving them of their own responsibility and repercussions. That’s not your job. You don’t hold any authority over them. Whatever your spiritual belief system is, Universal law says that actions have consequences. This concept is often referred to as Karma.


In other words, you have to choose the right kind of forgiveness.


The one that frees you from anger and resentment.


Not the one that absolves abusers from guilt.


So, what do you do in the face of brutal emotional assaults? Cheating husbands, unloving parents, greedy siblings, emotionally unavailable partners or backstabbing friends?


What about physical abusers? Rapists, muggers, violent partners or battering parents?


How do you move on?


First, you leave the decision of guilt, blame or consequence for God, the Universe, Karma or whatever you believe in. Again, that’s not your job. 


Then, you protect and heal yourself.


How? First, move out of harm’s way. You may need to change or end a relationship. Once your new boundaries are set, you can work on healing through whatever modalities you choose: books, therapy, journaling, yoga, or working with a coach like me.


Then, you forgive the right way, by reframing your anger. 


To do this, find a comfortable chair or cushion in a quiet place in your home. Take a few deep breaths and think about the person who harmed you. What do you know about them? How was their childhood? What were their struggles? Where have they failed? Are they in pain? Do they have hope for the future? Do they have friends who care about them? Do they have a partner? Do they suffer from physical or mental ailments that are diagnosed or undiagnosed? Are they angry and bitter? Imagine them as a joyful and innocent baby before the world took hold of them. Do you feel compassion for that baby? Can you generate a feeling of empathy for your adult abuser? Relax into these feelings and let them fill your heart. You should feel calm.


You can feel deep compassion for your abuser without allowing them to continue to abuse you.


This peaceful feeling will free you of your own anger. It will allow you to protect your heart and heal your spirit. You can repeat the exercise as often as you need to until you no longer hold resentment, anger or grudges toward those who have harmed you.


What about if you are the one who did something wrong?


What if you need to forgive yourself?


The process is the same. You are not in a position to absolve yourself from responsibility for wrong actions. Karma will take care of that. Every action has a reaction in this life or the next. In the bible, it says the children pay for the sins of their fathers to the third and fourth generations. Whatever you believe, consequences will happen. 


It’s not yours to worry about. You cannot change the past.


You must, however, release yourself from self-directed anger and replace it with self-compassion. As Maya Angelou famously said, “When you know better, you do better.” Make a commitment not to repeat the offending behavior. No one is perfect, but with baby steps, we move forward into the person we want to be.


If you need to forgive yourself, repeat the previous exercise with yourself in mind. Think about your childhood and all the struggles you’ve faced. Aren’t you deserving of compassion? Let that feeling of compassion replace any self-loathing, guilt or shame. Remind yourself you are doing the best that you can and you’re working to make yourself even better. Sit in that knowledge for a bit and enjoy it. Remember who you used to be and look at how far you’ve come.


You can forgive yourself and others if you forgive them the right way.




I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!



Trish


P.S. The photo is a quote from T.D. Jakes that hits the nail right on the head. Make sure to download my free e-book and sign up for my newsletter so you don't miss out on my upcoming workshops and retreats. Click the link below for more info. I have beautiful things in store for you! xoxo

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Feeling the Shift:

Are Retreats Worth It?


February 17, 2021

People often ask me why yoga is so important to me. It is difficult to explain. The best answer I have is that changing the position of my body changes my emotions. If I’m stressed out, I can fall to my knees and collapse into child’s pose to recover. If I’m feeling hopeless, I can lift my arms up toward the sky and stretch through both sides of my body into upward salute to regain my enthusiasm. If I feel uncertain, I can stand on one leg and plant the sole of my opposite foot against my outer calf, sliding prayer hands up to the sky to feel a gentle, graceful power. It’s so much more than this, but this is a start. Changing the position of my body changes my emotions. I might feel strong, joyful, prayerful or grateful. I might learn patience. I feel a shift.


I attended my first yoga retreat in 2015. I hardly had any money but scraped a few dollars together to take the trip to Jekyll Island, GA with one of my friends. It was my first retreat of any kind. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I loved it. Being in a community of like-minded learners was just what I needed.


Since then, I’ve attended a (partly silent) meditation retreat, a juice-fasting retreat in a mansion, a writer’s retreat in Costa Rica and an online wellness retreat in a tiny corner of my bedroom. Each experience was unforgettable. I’ve also hosted many of my own Black Vegan Life™ retreats. There’s nothing like a change of scenery. The same way I’ve discovered that changing the position of my body changes my emotions, I’ve also noticed changing the physical location of my body can have similar effects. I feel one way in Central Park, another on Stone Mountain and another on Miami Beach.


When we retreat, we mindfully move our bodies out of our normal routine and environment. We join in community with a purpose. It’s vacation with intention.


Is it possible to stay home and grow?


Absolutely.


Can we change our emotions without moving our bodies?


Of course.


However, there’s incredible value in a shift in perspective.


There’s an old parable about a group of blind men who stand next to an elephant, not knowing what it is. The first man touches the trunk and says the animal is long and spineless like a snake. The second man touches the tusk and says it is hard to the touch like a turtle. The third touches its side and says it’s massive like a rhinoceros.


To see the whole of anything, whether it’s ourselves or something else, we need to change our perspective. It’s up to us to choose how to do that.


I had a session today with a holistic scientist. He said the brain doesn’t feel pain. When we get a headache, it’s really a scalp-ache. The actual tissue of the brain is so busy processing what’s going on in other parts of the body, it doesn’t have much awareness of self. What a metaphor for life. We’re often so busy with worldly concerns like money, reputation, criticism and entertainment, we have very little understanding of who we are. We don’t think it matters, so we don’t make time to find out.


Who are you?


What feels good to you?


What improves your mood?


What characteristics do you want to develop?


What are you curious about?


What is your greatest potential?


I hope you make some time to retreat. You can take a physical journey, enjoy a day retreat in your town or city, sign-up for an online retreat, or simply set aside a day for yourself at home. If you need to, tell your partner or your kids not to bother you. Plan in advance and create a schedule of things you want to do, but never seem to have time for: journaling, yoga, meditation, a bubble bath, cooking healthy plant-based meals, and consuming spiritual, inspiring or educational books or movies. Take a break from social media and television. Yes, you can retreat for free. It might be your best or only option.


You will never regret the time you spend caring for your emotional and physical health.


I wish you passion, purpose and the realization of your fullest potential!



Trish


P.S. The photo is me and my canine assistant, Cooper, on our water-fast retreat. I'm sure this will go on my list of unforgettable experiences. If you're interested in exploring a yoga program, visit my current yoga school at www.myvinyasapractice.com  If you want more information on upcoming workshops and retreats click the link below and make sure to sign up for my mailing list. I can't wait to retreat with you! xoxo 

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All Talk. No Action.

Are You Emotionally Lazy?


February 9, 2021

I was chatting with a friend recently. We were talking about ex-boyfriends the way we sometimes do. We’re grown-ass women now, so we understand that we are partly responsible for our own failed relationships. We’re able to dissect them in the aftermath, whether they’re romantic fallouts or platonic unravelings. Lately, we’ve been talking about the term, “all talk and no action,” even going so far as to coin the abbreviation, ATNA. We’ve all met people who show up in the world like that, flapping their gums and saying nothing. Inspiring hope only to set you up for disappointment. Promising to start a business, earn a degree, travel somewhere exotic, invent something spectacular or really love and cherish you like no one’s done before. Words waving in the wind like a flag, flapping but never going anywhere.


Perhaps they really do intend to do the things they talk about, but just never make it out the gate.


The timing isn’t right.

          They lose confidence.

                    They become distracted.


Perhaps they didn’t ever have the intention to move into action, and they just enjoy hearing themselves talk, like a fish enjoying the sound of the water. Maybe they enjoy the wide-eyed, leaned-in enthusiasm they get from the people who believe them.


Maybe they just like to shoot the shit to the trees and the breeze.


Maybe that alone is satisfying enough,

          to talk about a dream 

                    with no intention of moving toward it.


I wonder how those folks feel as they move deeper into the middle of their lives. Are they still talking about the things they want to do someday? Are they paralyzed by the fear of failure? Are they scared of the emotional fortitude required to try new or big things? Do they blame others for their own inertia? Are they simply emotionally lazy and unwilling to make an effort to improve themselves? Or physically lazy and unwilling to put in some work?


Age will one day wake them up.


Even if they make it to one hundred, they will not live forever.


How will they feel when their best days are behind them?


When they are left only with the memories of the things they were too scared to try?


As a self-actualization coach, I know that limiting beliefs are powerful. It’s one of the most difficult aspects of coaching. Most people live in a psychological box created by years of conditioning from family, teachers, media and society as a whole. It defines how they think others view them, their perception of their own beauty, talent and intelligence, their hopes and dreams for the future and their sense of both responsibility and possibility.


There is a quote I love, often attributed to Albert Einstein, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”


The female poet who wrote under the name George Eliot is quoted as saying, “It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”


Old wisdom from poets and scientists still rings true today.


So, what are you waiting for?


What is your genius?


What untapped dream is in your heart?


What community are you uniquely qualified to serve?


What’s your superpower?


If you don’t know the answers to these questions, search your heart, then ask your best friend, or your partner, or your parents or your siblings. Sometimes we just can’t see ourselves the way other people see us.


The world doesn’t know all of us, but it definitely has clues.


Take inventory.


Don’t be the person with a life path full of missed opportunities, forgotten dreams and ATNA.


You are here because you are supposed to be here.


You are supposed to explore opportunities and try new things.


You are supposed to leave a legacy of love, passion and purpose.


Now get to work.



I wish you Passion, Purpose and the realization of your fullest Potential!


Trish

P.S. The photo is the new cover of Time Magazine featuring our youngest inaugural poet, Amanda Gorman. She made our nation so proud. What a shining example of living the dream and working with passion and purpose. If you want to push through things that are holding you back, talk to me about my special coaching package in celebration of Valentine’s Day. What better time to show yourself some love and start moving toward those goals? Click the button below for more info.

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Uncomfortable:

How Do You Know Your Path?


February 2, 2021

Today I joined the National Black MBA Association (NBMBAA). I’ve had my MBA since 2000 and except for a brief year with the organization, I was never a member. It’s not because I don’t like hanging around Black people, and it’s not because I didn’t intentionally pursue my MBA. I love Black culture and community, and I find business, economics and finance fascinating. My issue was that I found the group to be extremely corporate-minded, and although I’ve worked corporate jobs for most of my life, there was always a loud entrepreneurial free spirit inside of me that didn’t take well to all the rules of corporate structure.


So why did I work corporate jobs for most of my life?


It seemed safe.


It felt prestigious.


It was the only path I knew.


I grew up in a family where my options were clear: I could be a doctor, a lawyer or a businessperson. I knew I didn’t want to be a doctor – I wasn’t interested in sick people or blood. I briefly considered being a defense attorney after sitting on the jury for a murder trial when I was only twenty, but quickly changed my mind. I settled on business. I have always been creative and loquacious, so I enjoyed marketing and advertising, and finally settled into the world of corporate sales, first in telecom and later in financial services.


I was trained to be on someone else’s path.


My training was so deeply embedded that I came to believe it was my only path.


Today was a full-circle moment for me. I joined NBMBAA because I wanted to, not because I thought I should. I discovered they have a membership for entrepreneurs, and I thought, “That’s me!”


I’ve been in many spaces over the years because I thought I had to be there. Not because I wanted to be there. I defined work as the activity I somewhat enjoyed on the road to receiving a paycheck. It wasn’t the way I would spend my time if I had a choice in the matter. I used to believe “Work isn’t fun, that’s why we call it work.” And I quipped, "Work is interfering with my life!" I’m so glad I’ve moved past that belief system. Working with purpose and passion is FUN. It is also WORK. When the two combine it's magic, much like when sex and love come together.


I am a true believer in Fun. Joy. Happiness. Pleasure.


I don’t subscribe to the belief that you must suffer to live a good life, although I do believe you must work. If you want to grow, you must get uncomfortable.


Are you working with passion?


Are you standing in your own truth and authenticity?


Are you on your own path or someone else’s?


One of the great things about the pandemic is just about everything is virtual now, and more accessible to most of us than it would have been only a year ago. I encourage you to explore new paths to living your most joyful and fulfilled life. Try an online yoga class, yoga teacher training, a writing workshop or an art class. Sign up for a virtual open mic night or a music lesson. Join a virtual book club or movie discussion group. There is a vast world right outside of your comfort zone waiting for you to explore. All you have to do is get a little uncomfortable and reach for it.



I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!



Trish


P.S. The photo is the road that leads to the top of Kennesaw Mountain here in Georgia. If you’re interested in my recommendations for online resources, reach out to me at [email protected]  My FREE Monthly Workshops begin this week. This month's topic is "Six Ways to Fall in Love with the REAL You." Use the link below for more info and to sign up.

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The Power of LOUD:

Amplify Your SuperPower


January 28, 2021

Yesterday, I was fortunate enough to participate in a full-day retreat with Jack Canfield, the acclaimed author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. His manuscript was rejected 144 times before he found a publisher. Now, he’s sold nearly 600 million books around the globe. As he spoke, he used phrases like “law of attraction” and “quantum field.” He guided the group of us through a powerful meditation and visualization exercise. He was speaking my language. I receive my most powerful inspiration, intuition and breakthroughs when I’m steeped in stillness. Yesterday was no different. Jack guided me through a journey to a pivotal moment in my childhood: my first memory of fear. I came to realize that, as much as I’ve found my voice in many ways, it’s not nearly enough. I still find myself shrinking at times. I don’t want to bother people with repeated phone calls or emails. I don’t want to constantly toot my own horn. I think, Who do I think I am? Then I really run the risk of forgetting.


I am uniquely gifted and divinely talented.


So are you.


We have superpowers, you and I.


I hosted a virtual “Passion and Purpose” workshop last week. During the event, we did an exercise where I asked the participants to write down five things they love to do. I offered my own five as an example: writing, teaching, yoga, hiking, running.


Teaching what I’ve learned is my passion. I realize when I have those moments of fear and self-doubt, I lose the power of my voice. Yesterday, during the conference, I posted my aha! moment on Instagram: “Be LOUD in pursuit of your PASSIONS.” I can’t just identify and pursue my passions. It’s not enough. I must also be LOUD if I want to make an impact.


What does more noise mean for me?


Finally starting my podcast,

     Posting more videos,

          Doing more live streams,

               Sending more emails,

                    Making more phone calls.


Jack Canfield said, “The last five letters in the Law of Attraction are ACTION. We all want to be great, but we’re not willing to pay the price.”


You know what, I see you Universe, and I’m listening to all the lessons you’re sending my way.


So, what are YOU loudly pursuing?


Everybody wants money, but we have to offer something in return. Otherwise, it’s vapid and imbalanced.


Are you pursuing Education? Healing? Spirituality? Self-love? Purpose?


Whatever good work you pursue, make sure to open your heart and your throat, and BE LOUD.



I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!



Trish


P.S. The photo is the Instagram meme I created yesterday. If you want inspiration in your inbox every week, sign up for my newsletter at the link below.

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Privilege and Pleasure:

What Motivates You?


January 22, 2021

After watching Joe Biden and Kamala Harris get sworn in on Wednesday, and before watching the inaugural concert, I managed to slip in a conversation with a podcaster. As we were talking about how to identify talents and work with passion, the conversation shifted to a discussion of working for “free.” She wasn’t getting financial compensation to create her podcast, nor was I for my interview. We are both promoting ideas that we love. We are pursuing our passions. As we finished our talk, it became even more clear to me that money isn’t our only currency. I work to promote and teach ideas as a service to our world. It is my purpose. I work to inspire others. I work for the love of my daughter, my dog and my new grandbunny. I work to take care of my physical self. I work to open my eyes to new parts of the world that I haven’t seen before. I work to heal and grow myself and others. I work to knock down doors, open up minds and uplift people. If my primary currency were dollars, I’m sure I’d be doing something else.


In my books, Generosity is the first of the advanced steps to Mind-Blowing Happiness™. It’s the point where you pivot from foundational ideas like healing, spirituality, community, self-love and peacefulness, to less-obvious paths. In Thinking Outside the Chrysalis, Drop #6 is “Give it Away for Free.” In 12 Steps to Mind-Blowing Happiness, Step #6 is “Throw the Boomerang.” Both point to the importance of generosity, not only as a way to help others, but as a way to help ourselves. Money isn’t our only currency. We work for joy. We work for passion. We work for the privilege and the pleasure of sharing our talents with the world. Of course, we all need a place to lay our heads at the end of the day. Money is necessary, but it’s not most important.


I spoke to another podcaster earlier in the week who quipped that people in public office must be self-centered; why else would they aspire to that? It’s true some are motivated by narcissism and power. We just had four years of that. But some are motivated by service. Some are motivated by compassion. Some are motivated by justice. Some are motivated by love.


Now, that we’ve survived the first three weeks of 2021, let's try being motivated by love.

  • Wear a mask to protect other people, even when you find it awkward, unnecessary or uncomfortable.
  • If you catch COVID, notify the people you've been around so they can take steps to take care of themselves, get tested and reduce the chance of spreading it further.
  • Maintain a social distance from others as you pass them on the street or in other public places so that they can feel safe and comfortable.
  • If you’ve been around higher-risk, untested people (like my very own college student) self-quarantine to be sure you don’t inadvertently spread the virus.

I hope the Biden/Harris administration brings back a return to basic decency in government. We have a lot of work to do, but if we want to change the world, we’ve got to begin by changing ourselves. We must learn to take pleasure in the process.


I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!


Trish


P.S. The photo is of me wearing my #pearlsforkamala on Inauguration Day. If you’re looking for ways to identify and ignite passion, purpose and pleasure in your life, sign up for my virtual workshop this Sunday, January 24 @ 7pm at the link below.

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This Too Shall Pass:

Self-Care Tips for Difficult Days


January 14, 2021

2021 is making 2020 look like a walk down Easy Street. I know it’s only been two weeks, but I’m trying to recover from last week’s insurrection in Washington, DC while preparing for this week’s domestic terror threats across all 50 states. I’m deciding between the potential for catching COVID-19 and the possibility of side effects from the vaccine. I’m determining whether it’s better to stay indoors and virus-free or go outside for my daily trip to the gym or yoga studio to maintain my sanity. I’ve opted for outdoor exercise, and I’m trying to balance that between the fickle nature of weather and the demands of self-employment. I’ve opted for at-home yoga, but it’s so easy to be distracted when I’m in my own home. I've got issues.


Sometimes I can’t stop watching the news. Sometimes I can’t get a good night’s sleep. I feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions, and it’s only been two weeks.


It’s not just the chaos and negativity that has 2021 feeling like a challenge. We’ve had unbelievable highs as well. I never dreamed both Georgia and the U.S. Senate would flip blue. That amazing high on January 5 was quickly crushed by the insurrection on January 6. Then hope sprang anew when Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were finally certified by congress after the attack on the capitol building. The decision to quickly impeach the chief instigator felt like relief, only to be followed by threats to elected officials who don’t fall in line with our current dictator-in-waiting and his mob of supporters. I’ve never known so much violence and potential for violence in our nation against a backdrop of so much potential. We have our first Black and female vice president for goodness sake! The contrast is downright bipolar.


I say all that to say, sometimes we feel stressed out. Unless we sit down and take an accounting of what’s going on around us, we may not know why. We might just notice we feel uncomfortable or anxious. If you have financial dilemmas or other personal challenges on top of the ones we are all dealing with, you have even more stressors at play.


We can’t work to solve problems unless we first acknowledge them.


Listen, we’re in the middle of a shitstorm.


There, I said it.


We are all stressed out. People of color are even more so because we are the favorite target of hate groups in this country. I would imagine my LGBTQ and Jewish friends are quite concerned too. But, at the end of the day, any thoughtful person who’s been paying attention to this mess has at least a little bit of low-grade agita.


My tips:


1. Be grateful for what you have.

2. Don’t skip your exercise.

3. Take breaks from the news.

4. Do your best to get quality rest.

5. Whether you read a book, take a bath, chant a mantra or do a meditation, make some time for stillness.


I’m here to tell you this too shall pass. 2021 has more goodness in store than grief. More hope than horror. More love than hate. We’ve got this.



I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!



Trish

P.S. I’m a huge fan of Zora Neale Hurston. The photo is one of my favorite quotes from her. It speaks directly to racism or any ism in such a beautiful way. If you’re looking for a place to connect and share self-care tips, join me tomorrow, January 15 for my Virtual Self-Care Gathering. You can register with the button below.

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Room to Recover:

Who Profits from Conspiracy Theories?


January 7, 2021

January 6, 2021 is a day we will never forget: The Day of the Insurrection. Images of the U.S. Capitol Building being stormed during a congressional session to confirm the Biden/Harris ticket will remain in our collective memories for many years to come. The fact that we were ushering in our nation’s first Black woman as Vice President creates a remarkable dichotomy, highlighting the chasm between the old guard and the hope of progress. While the attack was outrageous, it was a long time coming. The wound that broke open yesterday had been festering since the birth of this brutally conceived nation. The lies that have been told to the American citizens scaling the walls of the Capitol are no different than the lies of white supremacy and national superiority that have been told for centuries. What has changed is the speed at which these lies can be disseminated.


When I was a kid growing up in the eighties, we learned about the impending age of information and technology, but nothing prepared us for their impact on these same lies embedded in the psyche of our nation. We imagined quickly accessing and sharing music, art, movies, research and science. There was no such word as “disinformation” back then. There was no internet. We didn’t know lies could be monetized quickly and strategically: the bigger the lie, the greater the profit. Conspiracy theories went from the corners of dusty rooms to the center of a profitable industry. Our disgraced president has collected over $250 million dollars from his disinformation campaign. Misinformed American citizens believe they are fighting for justice. It’s sad to be in the presence of profound ignorance, but even worse to be in the realm of strategically orchestrated malice.


2020 was a year when many of us were forced to bring self-care to the forefront of our priorities. We simply had to maintain our mental health under the pressure of a multitude of simultaneous environmental stressors. 2021 is off to a hell of a start. The good news is the events at the Capitol Building yesterday could very well be the catalyst our nation needs to take action. Legislators can enact laws to counter disinformation and radicalization within our borders. Laws to contain the power of an unstable president. And laws to make sure our governing bodies accurately reflect our diverse population.


But what do we do when we can’t stop watching television? When we find ourselves fearing the dissolution of the imperfect and fragile democracy that we call our own? What can we do with our pent-up energy and stress?


We can follow what our courageous leader, Stacey Abrams, did when she came under fire. We can take our energy and use it for a just cause. We can do what Nancy Pelosi did after congress was attacked. We can get on with the business of doing good work. We can do what Hillary Clinton did after losing a sexist election to an unqualified conman and narcissist. We can dust ourselves off and keep going.


Before we do any of this, we must give ourselves room to recover.


Today I encourage you to pause. Turn off the television for an hour or so. Light a candle. Read a prayer or a poem. Meditate or sit in contemplation. Take a nap. Let your mind and your body rest. And when you’ve allowed yourself respite, take a moment to think about how you can turn your outrage into action.


Check on a friend. Support what John Lewis called “good trouble.” Bring positive energy into a space that’s full of anger. Discuss solutions.


When I was a kid, nothing prepared us for the weaponization and monetization of lies at the speed of light. This nation lost some of its last bits of innocence yesterday. It’s time for us to grow up and confront the monster we created with all the maturity of a well-raised adult.


I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!



Trish


P.S. The photo is of our beloved shero, Stacey Abrams. Congratulations to her for her amazing work in turning Georgia blue AND electing both Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff to the U.S. Senate. I still can't believe my dream came true! If you'd like help dreaming beyond the chaos of yesterday and into a brilliant future, join me for my Vision Boarding Workshop this Saturday, January 9 at 1pm. You can sign up with the button below.

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