January is the month New Year’s resolutions come and go. Despite the best intentions, according to US News and World Report, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February. Most people don’t have the commitment, accountability, or support to keep up with their goals when real life settles back in. Most goals that people set are restrictive whether it’s losing weight, giving up alcohol or sweets, waking up earlier, or exercising more. Often, the resolution is to give up something you find enjoyable like eating rich food, going to girls’ night out, sleeping in, or bingeing on Netflix.

What if instead of setting a restrictive resolution you set one for expansion? What if you made 2023 the year of Black Girl Joy? What if you decided no matter how many microaggressions, unexpected changes, sexist remarks, relationship conflicts, work issues, bad hair days, traffic jams, or obstacles, your commitment is to navigate it all with grace and joy? What if you decided to forgive yourself with boundless self-love no matter how many mistakes you make? What if you decided to love your body exactly as it is, with every pimple, pound, and stretch mark? What if you decided that despite all the blatant racism in the world, you would love on yourself so hard you sashay right on through it?

If Black women committed to really loving themselves, I know we could change the world. We would build our confidence, create healthy boundaries, find our voices, and tap into our power. We would rest when we are tired and be focused and energized when we emerge from our much-needed slumber. We would dream of the life we really want and begin to manifest it.

So often we are busy. Too busy. Too busy to dream. Too busy to explore our passions. Too busy to walk in our purpose. Who has time for all of that? We’re busy! Busy working toward someone else’s dreams. Busy making sure everyone around us is comfortable. Busy making sure everyone else’s needs are met.

Let’s make 2023 the year of Black Girl Joy. We are long overdue. Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Make time for rest. – Getting appropriate sleep and learning to rest without guilt is a game-changer. Rest heals the parasympathetic nervous system, reduces stress and anxiety, decreases blood pressure, reduces chronic pain, strengthens the cardiovascular system, improves the immune system, and elevates your mood. Sounds pretty joyful, doesn’t it? Get your rest, girl!
2. Figure out what you like. – Think back to your childhood. What did you enjoy most? Was it fixing things, playing sports, telling jokes, drawing, reading, singing, writing? Take some time to remember what set your little-kid soul on fire and think about how you can incorporate forgotten pleasures into your current life. Remember fun? You need that!
3. Practice daily self-nurturing. – Pause throughout your day and ask yourself, “What can I do that’s most loving for myself in this moment?” It might be simple acts like making a cup of tea, putting some music on, taking a walk, calling a friend, or taking a break. Make nurturing yourself a habit.
4. Empower yourself through self-talk. – Make a commitment to ONLY speak to yourself as if you were speaking to someone you love. So, that little voice in your head must be both kind and empowering as if you were speaking to your lover, your baby, or your puppy. When you get really good at this, you may find yourself using pet names in your head like “sweetie” or “honey.” That’s when you’re really rocking your self-love self-talk!
5. Get support. – You might think you are a superwoman, but you can’t find Black Girl Joy alone. Get into a community of like-minded women to help you throughout the year. I’m hosting a Black Girl Joy Masterclass on Wednesday, January 18 @ 7:30 pm EST. Sign up HERE and meet other Black women who want to prioritize joy in 2023!

I hope you make your joy a priority this year and all the years ahead. I can see our ancestors smiling. Could Black Girl Joy be the revolution of 2023? Let me know what you think.