Yesterday I met a friend for lunch, and she said I was glowing. Even though I’ve been feeling joyful from the inside out for the past few days, I was surprised that she noticed. I’m excited about my new book launch scheduled for next month. I did a 3-day water fast that really seemed to reset my energy and cravings (even though I ate a little). During my fast, I did 3 days of manifestation work that prompted me to create my new website, trishahjelroberts.com. And, I had a downright magical experience listening to the Tuning Into New Potentials meditation from Dr. Joe Dispenza. I’ve been running, hitting the weights and getting my yoga in on a daily basis. I feel like a goddamn goddess.
In contrast, another friend who just started reading my self-help memoir, Thinking Outside the Chrysalis: A Black Woman’s Guide to Spreading Her Wings, sent me an all-too-familiar apology text. “Sorry you had to go through tough experiences in your life.” My reply was something like, “Don’t worry. I’m grateful for all of my experiences.” I appreciate the text, but it makes me realize how some people who seem to have an easy path can be miserable, while little old me, who’s endured plenty, can be filled with joy.
Why is that? What makes people happy?
First off, there are genetics. I know I am a natural optimist. According to an article on the topic in Psychology Today, about 40% of our happiness is determined by our genes. So how do we increase our joy with the 60% we have some control over? Here are a few of my tips:
1. Get to know yourself – It’s hard to make someone happy if we don’t know what they like or dislike, and what’s important to them. When we’re born, we don’t receive this information. We need to learn who we are over time. This is very different than who our parents, our bosses, or our society thinks we should be.
2. Prioritize yourself – Can you be happy if you put yourself last? I don’t think so. Even if you have a spouse and children, you have to take care of yourself consistently in order to show up for your family and the world in a meaningful way. When your running on empty, your aura exudes that deficiency. That doesn’t benefit anyone.
3. Do the work – Like everything else in this world, happiness requires work. The good news is that misery requires work too. Instead of berating yourself with negative self-talk, caging yourself with limiting beliefs, or alienating others and the Universe with constant complaining, do the opposite. Use affirmations to create positive self-talk, adjust your language to show that your potential is limitless, and express gratitude instead of complaints. Work toward your happiness instead of your misery.
4. Be kind – Being nice to others will make you feel good. So, donate time or money to your favorite charity, hold the door for someone you don’t find attractive, take some items to Goodwill, smile at strangers, chat with the cashier when you’re shopping, and give a few dollars when people ask. Find ways to spread kindness throughout your day.
Of course, this is over-simplified, but it’s a good place to start. If you really want to dig into your personal joy and fulfillment, I encourage you to watch the 2011 film, Happy or grab a copy of Thinking Outside the Chrysalis: A Black Woman’s Guide to Spreading Her Wings. You do NOT have to be a Black woman to benefit from the guidance and inspiration nestled in my book.
Whether you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert, an optimist or a pessimist, we could all use a dose of happy. I hope you set aside time to find yours. Happiness is an inside job.
I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!
P.S. The photo is the cover for my new book, 12 Steps to Mind-Blowing Happiness: A Journal of Insights, Quotes & Questions to Juice Up Your Journey, launching 11:11:2020. Learn more at mindblowinghappiness.com. If you want to watch the film Happy, you can find it on Amazon Prime or use this link https://tubitv.com/movies/157792/happy?utm_source=google-feed&tracking=google-feed
If you want to check out the Psychology Today article that I referenced, here it is https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201911/how-genes-influence-happiness