Last night I raffled off my second “Read & Relax” spa basket live on Instagram. I’ve been having so much fun with video recordings lately. While waiting for folks to log on, I took the time to talk about the twelve drops of nectar in my self-help memoir, Thinking Outside the Chrysalis: A Black Woman’s Guide to Spreading Her Wings. The name, “Thinking Outside the Chrysalis,” started as the title of a wellness retreat that I had planned for the spring, before COVID changed all of our plans. The book came to me as an idea to gift to retreat participants. Ten of the drops came to me in the middle of the night, around 3:00am. They are a Divine gift from a place far more expansive than my own mind.


I share them with you today so you can have a little taste of the wisdom that woke me up one night. The term “woke” has become so fundamental in our popular culture. It signifies an awakening to knowledge and awareness – stepping out of our slumber. Perhaps if we paid more attention to what keeps us up at night and what wakes us from our sleep, we would all be a bit more woke.


The first drop in my book, “Heal the Past First,” discusses the importance of healing our past traumas and issues in order to rightfully walk into our best life. The second drop, “Get a (Spiritual) Life,” talks about my own spiritual journey from Catholic to Atheist, to Christian and finally to Buddhist. It’s not important if you belong to any religion, but it’s important to recognize and nurture the spiritual being inside of you. The third drop, “It Takes a Village (to Support an Adult),” addresses the importance of connection. Solitary confinement for more than fifteen days is considered torture by international agencies. Connection is paramount for mental and physical health.


The fourth drop, “Get REAL with Someone,” is serious. Our nation has a crisis of authenticity. We are told to love ourselves when we don’t even know who we are. This drop addresses self-awareness, authenticity and self-love. The fifth drop, “Anger is a Lie,” is one of the most controversial. We live in a culture that romanticizes war, brutality and toxic masculinity. This drop addresses the lies we’ve been told about the usefulness of anger. The sixth drop, “Give it Away for Free,” speaks to sharing our talents with the world without an expectation of remuneration. It allows us to open our hearts and our generosity and enjoy giving and sharing as a way to benefit ourselves and the world around us.


The seventh drop, “No More Bag Lady,” goes deeper. It’s a discussion about releasing our attachment to people and things with the understanding that there will be a day when we must separate from every person and thing we love. When we operate from this place of knowing, we can treasure every moment and prioritize appropriately. The eighth drop, “Lay Your Weapons Down,” explores the magic of setting intentions and surrendering to a higher power. It’s an opportunity to give up the struggle and live in peace with the world. The ninth drop, “Patience is the Truth,” talks about the benefit of the space between wanting something and receiving it. This gap is full of lessons and preparation. It should be enjoyed and explored, not rushed.


The tenth drop, “Don’t Eat the Dead,” delves deeply into the realization that we can’t find true happiness when we benefit from the exploitation or oppression of others. The eleventh drop, “Work Equals Play,” explores the beauty and meaning of working in “the zone,” and how to add more passion to your life, no matter what you do for a living. The twelfth drop, “Float Like a Butterfly,” touches on the delight of freedom and how to support yourself with a lifelong self-care and self-love practice.


It seems weird but, even though I wrote my book, I still learn from reading it over and over. The wisdom isn’t really my own. It simply channeled through me. Much like how affirmations gain power through repetition, my book is the same. Every time I read it, I’m encouraged all over again.


You may have lucid dreams, traditional dreams, or you may not be aware of any dreams at all. Wherever you find yourself on the dream spectrum, I encourage you to keep pen and paper at the side of your bed or invest in a dream journal. You might be surprised what wisdom becomes available in the middle of the night if only you were ready to catch it. Stay woke.


I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!


P.S. The photo is the “Read & Relax” spa basket. It contains twelve items, one for each of the twelve drops and is valued at $250. I’ve raffled off two so far. I have three more to give away. To enter, simply follow me at and tag as many friends as you want in a “Read & Relax” post this week. Each tag is an entry. The next drawing is Monday, July 20th @ 7pm on Instagram Live. To find out more or purchase my self-help memoir, Thinking Outside the Chrysalis: A Black Woman’s Guide to Spreading Her Wings, visit

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