It feels like the past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions for me. My dad’s been sick for awhile now and I’m heading back to NYC to see him tomorrow. My daughter’s away in school and she was sick too. I’ve been working hard to get attendees for my events and not always feeling successful. My spring retreat is now only a season away, sneaking up on me like a little squirrel. And, through all of that I know there is a power greater than me at work, so I move with the flow, releasing my expectations and relinquishing to divine order. I’ve learned many times that no matter how hard I try to control things, it is ultimately an illusion – unanticipated events can happen at any moment, good or bad.
For years I thought about my life from a position of lack. In some ways that mindset is part of popular culture. I used to joke about the struggle bus, the plantation and the grind. I wondered where Mr. Right was hiding, thinking that a successful relationship was an existential goal. Recently, I’ve released most of that. I had a long conversation at the hair salon about going from “the struggle bus” to “on the bus.” Anyone who’s spoken to me lately has heard me talk about being “on the bus.” It’s me surrendering to life. I no longer purport to know what the correct next step is for me. I’m willing to go with the flow.
I always thought of myself as ambitious. I had all the degrees, all the jobs and all the plans. I’ve owned a business, had employees and been a landlord. I thought I had the right equation for success and happiness: MBA + house + husband = HAPPY or 100k job + business + child = SUCCESS. As I’ve gotten wiser, I’ve realized that there is no simple formula for genuine joy. It’s like 1 + 1 = 10. It’s inexplicable.
If I have to choose, I prefer surrender.
I realize sometimes people see my joy and they think things are always falling into place for me. The reality is I am falling into place around the things.
That’s being “on the bus.”
That’s riding the roller coaster with your hands waving high up in the air with the confidence that you are supported by the machine of divine consciousness.
I wish you surrender.
I wish you courage.
I wish you Freedom, Alignment and Effortless Abundance!
P.S. The image is of my 2020 digital vision board on my laptop monitor. I’m surrendering to ALL of it.